BUILDING CONFIDENCE: Confusion vs Clarity

When I was making a living as an actress, I would often doubt myself or question my abilities. When I would share with friends, they said to me, “you just need more confidence.” I would smile and nod but truly I was clueless about how to get there.

Yes, I prayed, meditated, visioned, made vision boards, went to workshops, attended classes, went to therapy, and had a spiritual counselor.  Those were momentary assists but didn’t get to the core of my challenge.  When I would get an audition, the same process ensued.  I would be excited, then I would get nervous, then I would wonder who my competition was, then I would work on the sides (script pages) and second guess every choice.  It was exhausting.

Here’s the interesting thing.  I had studied to be an actress and booked a lot of jobs.  I had a reputation as a good actress and had many credits under my belt. Somehow, at the last moment, just before the audition, I would find my center and walk into the room and deliver great work.  The lead up was the problem. The angst I felt never allowed me to relax and enjoy the ride of the life I had created.

The Definitions of confidence are:

• Feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances
• Faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
• A feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something: firm trust
• A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities

Confidence is all about feeling sure of yourself and your abilities.  It is not about arrogance. It is about feeling so secure within yourself that nothing can deter or distract you. Confidence is tapping into an inner knowing that you are gifted, capable and powerful.

What I discovered is that my lack of confidence was rooted in confusion and not clarity.  A clear mind or choice cannot be expressed without clarity revealed.

What is confusion?

Confusion is a part of life.  It can make one feel overwhelmed, but it can also be a tool for learning something new.

Confusion is usually experienced when we are faced with new information. Especially, when the information doesn’t make sense or challenges our normal way of understanding or being. When this happens it can be difficult to reconcile the new incoming information with what we already know or believe.

Confusion is a just a symptom.  It stops you from thinking clearly. Some people describe it as feeling disoriented, being unable to focus, or challenged making decisions.

Confusion can occur when we know we need to make a choice and we don’t like the guidance we are getting.  It can be a very subtle form of resistance.  It can also be observing situations and being perplexed about what is occurring.  People often tell me they feel confused by the division that is taking place in families, communities, our country, or the world.

I believe confusion is a huge opportunity to take a break, breathe and go within.  This state of being is an invitation to grow.

Achieving clarity

“There is a secret to choosing work with intention, passion, and purpose.The secret is to consciously choose thoughts that align all aspects of your work and life with what energizes and enlivens you. “ – Gary and Cathy Hawk

I am a certified Clarity Coach with Clarity International.  Cathy and Gary Hawk have created a system this is powerful and supports clarity of thought, clarity of vision, and clarity of conscious action.

In other words, it is all about living “lights on” and passionate about the life you desire to live.

In my world, clarity exudes clearness. If you bring clarity to any life experience, you open to possibilities of authentic living mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Mental clarity allows you to have a purposeful state of mind. You cease to be clouded with indecision, lack of focus, overwhelm or worry.

Emotional clarity is all about understanding the emotions you are feeling and why you are feeling them. Understanding emotions is important to take action to change the situation, circumstances or thoughts fueling the emotions.

Spiritual Clarity is a deep connection to Spirit, Universe, God or whatever you choose to call it.  It is about knowing that you can connect to your inner wisdom at any time.

How To Use Clarity to Create Confidence

1. Recognize and admit when you are feeling confused. There is nothing to be ashamed of here. That admission could be a simple pause to acknowledge where you are in the present moment.
2. Tap into your inner knowing (prayer, meditation, visioning or journaling all work).
3. Ask, “who would I be if I were not confused?”  This is a powerful tool. Some part of you knows what a lack of confusion looks and feels like.
4. Honor the feelings and reflect on what you truly desire. Honoring where you are opens a portal to call forth your heart’s desire.
5. Take responsibility for your life and choices.  Only you can create shift your life.  By getting honest about where you are allows you to get clear about how you want to move forward.
6. Create attainable goals to assist you in moving forward. Small steps create big wins.
7. Celebrate every win. Each achievement can be a confidence booster.  We often forget to “cheer” ourselves on to victory.

Let me say here, if you feel confused, there is nothing wrong with you. You are not damaged or messed up.  You are simply in a space that is calling you to higher consciousness.  We all have moments of confusion and disconnect.

The great news is that “confidence” is right around the corner. It is waiting for you to claim it.  If me or my team of certified coaches, can support you, please go to my website and reach out. There all also gifts and products to support.  

Please remember, you are not alone. You are loved and you matter.

Much love,

Cynthia