I’m writing this newsletter from Mexico. I am speaking and teaching at a conference where over 140 people from all over the world have gathered to deepen in their personal and spiritual development. Many came as a retreat before fall begins and they return to work or their children return to school. Person after person talked about how much they needed a time out and rest. In deeper conversations it all led back to people being challenged with administering self-love, self-nurturing and self-care.
Personal disclosure here….this year has been very busy and it has been a challenge to make sure I take care of myself. I’ve had to calendar rest, exercise and family time. I’ve had to be dedicated to taking care of myself no matter what. Sometimes that meant saying no to people and/or events that I would love to have attended. I have had to look at it as my getting back to the “school” of my life.
As a child, I remember getting ready for school after summer vacation. There was excitement and some nerves. The excitement surrounded buying new clothes and school supplies with my mom. We didn’t have a lot of money so we were really careful to look for the best deals. Especially, since each summer I grew and couldn’t fit my old clothes. I loved feeling pretty and making sure my closet was neat to enter the new school year.
The nervousness came because I was shy and it wasn’t always easy to meet new people. There were a few select friends but I was always with new people in classes and didn’t know how to engage. I’m sure some of you are a little shocked since I am so visible and outgoing today. I just want you to know that it took time to learn how to be seen and connect with people.
As I look back at this time, in a weird way, I took care of myself so that I could do well in school and navigate that experience. My mother was very dedicated to my being educated. I created a system. I was quiet until I felt safe to bring my voice. I pulled back my energy to make sure I wasn’t overwhelmed. I also didn’t volunteer for things until I felt capable. As a result, I excelled in classes. The interesting thing was that other kids and teachers noticed. Consequently, I was invited to run for office, join the debate and chess clubs, sing in choir and ultimately do solo singing performances. My mom made sure I ate well, did my homework, finished my chores and went to bed early to get ready for the next day. I also would retreat to my room to rejuvenate and listen to music.
Somewhere along the line I forgot all of the things that made me successful and began to “work” harder to be productive. That meant energetically and physically pushing my way through my personal health needs would become the norm. As I look back, I can see that this was a familial pattern. The women in my family all worked to exhaustion and put themselves last.
Getting Back to You Explained
So, how does this apply to you? There are some simple ways to make sure that YOU come first. Ways that will keep you feeling vital, strong and thriving. Here they are:
- Take time daily to get still. Meditation, journaling or listening to quiet music is a great way to center you and create inner peace. It is these quiet moments that assist in rejuvenating and gaining clarity.
- Do something every day which ignites and excites you. It can be a walk, read a book, dance, hike, walk your dog, draw, or listen to music. Whatever you do it should be outside of what you do for work. This is just something that makes your heart smile and energizes you.
- Learn something new. During the conference a woman taught a class on Zentangle. 50 people got into a room and created small paper tiles using circles, lines and squares. At the end of the class we all put our creations on a table and the room became electric. By putting our art together, it became a masterpiece. You could feel the excitement about learning something new that they could carry home with them.
- Move at your own pace and rhythm. When you try to do what others need you to do the way they need you to do it you can sacrifice peace of mind. Learn what feeds your soul and how much of your energy will be required. If it is a drain you might want to consider stepping back.
- Say NO and honor your needs. We teach people how to treat us. So, if you say yes to make others happy it will become an expectation. You can say no from a loving and kind place. For instance, “thank you for asking but at this time I really need to take care of myself and rest” or “What a lovely request. Thank you. In this moment, I have to decline. My calendar is full and I cannot add another thing and stay healthy. I’m sure you understand.
- Eat healthy. Lots of people consider eating healthy as boring. They will pay attention to food if they want to lose weight but feel deprived if they cannot keep the sugar and unhealthy carbs in their diet. I’m not saying give up what you love. I am saying become aware of how your body responds to certain foods. Do you bloat? Do you become hyper and restless? Do you eat and then lose energy? Do you eat when stressed and then feel guilty? Eat what enlivens you and helps you feel vital. There are many food studies that can support you in doing this easily.
- Exercise regularly. You don’t have to live in a gym. You can walk, do yoga, bike ride, swim or dance. The thing is to keep the energy moving in your body. Some people need exercise daily. Others can feel supported 3-4 times a week. Your body needs movement. It is one of the healthy practices for conscious aging.
- Surround yourself with positive people. You want to be in the company of people that have an uplifting attitude. You want to be in the company of people that want you to succeed. You want to be in the company of people that energize you and carry the same values. These people will be a constant reminder of your magnificence.
As summer ends, I invite you to take some time to reflect on how you can support and nurture YOU. We are over half way through this year. Are you feeling and experiencing life in a way that feeds your soul? If not, it could be time to get back to the vision and essential nature that is YOU. Do what makes you come alive. You deserve to have a life of joy and freedom.
Much love and light,
Cynthia
