How You Deal With the Issue is the ONLY Issue!

When I was attending the University of Santa Monica for Spiritual Psychology, the leaders, Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick, said numerous times, “how you deal with the issue is the issue.”  I understood it intellectually, but it wasn’t until I was invited to take a deeper dive into me that I became aware that often times in my life, the way I dealt with issues was from the point of view of the victim.  From my childhood, through my teens, and into adulthood experience after experience were opportunities to view my life through the lens of being misunderstood, maligned, abused, betrayed and discarded.  It had never dawned on me to understand that I was a participant in all of these events and had choice.

Today, I work with clients around the world and my intention is to give them the skills to handle any situation from the perspective of conscious awareness and loving choices.  Let me say here, it is not easy.  We live in a culture that bombards us with the news of overwhelmed, overworked, non-supported victims.  The energy of people being abused or disenfranchised creates separation and division in relationships, families, and work environments.

I recently had a challenge and the old me would have responded with drama.  Instead, I was calm, handled everything that was in front of me, and put my attention what I desired.  It was not fun. I could feel the urge to be in fear and judgment of myself and others.  I could feel my body tense and my mind become scattered.  I paused and took several breaths, and I was able to recover quickly.  I simply used tools to move back to center, collect my thoughts and take action consciously.  I want to share these tools with you, in hopes that you will be able to handle any issue with clarity, ease and peace of mind.

Many years ago, a woman came to me for support.  She had been trying to have a baby and had suffered from miscarriages.  There was a part of her feeling like it was hopeless.  Another part had deep faith and wanted to stand in the knowing that she was destined to be a mother.  We worked weekly to assist her in expanding her consciousness.  We looked at the current reality and the stories she made up that were not based in reality.  We explored the false beliefs that continued to keep her in fear.  We shifted her mindset to understand that nothing was against her. We did prayers, meditations and created rituals. Then, we created affirmations that became a consistent daily practice.  She made a conscious choice to focus ONLY on what she wanted.  She then said, “if a child does not come through my body, I will know that there is another child waiting to come into my life.”  It became clear to me that she was in a place of complete surrender.  Several months later she became pregnant and today has two thriving children.  She dealt with the issue through consciousness building and practice.

5 Tools for handling adversity and challenge

Here are the tools we used.  I will share them in the form of the acronym – ISSUE. The words are Investigate, surmise, seek, understand and evolve.

The first thing to do before you respond to any issue is to PAUSE.  Stop what you are doing and take some deep breaths.  Allow each breath to fill the body with warmth and light.  Do this until you can feel yourself moving back to center. Then, do these steps.

1. INVESTIGATE– This is the place where you really look at your current reality.  What is actually happening?  Who is involved? How are you feeling emotionally?  How are you responding mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually? What is the impact of this experience? Gathering this information will support you in becoming clear about next steps.
2. SURMISE – The definition of this word is to suppose that something is true without having evidence to confirm it.  This is the place where many get caught.  We start making things up about people’s intentions, catastrophes that await us, how survival is hopeless, or a struggle is imminent.  We often do this without any evidence, research or clear information.  Emotions are running and we move into survival mode.  It is important to become aware of this part of the process but not to surrender to the impact.  Many people overreact in this place and create more chaos.  You want to become aware of your thoughts and understand that often they are coming from fear.  This would be a great time to journal before you take action.
3. SEEK – Look at your participation in this situation.  Relationships are some of the best places to practice.  When you are upset, it is good to think about how you might have played a part in this experience. OR was I distracted and left myself open for challenge. Many victims of crimes will share that they were not alert or awake before something occurred.  Be aware that I am not asking you to look at how you created this situation. That is a waste of time. I am asking you to become clear about how your mindset, actions, behaviors or responses could have contributed to this challenge.  From here you get to move into shifting the way you respond.
4. UNDERSTAND – This is the place where you get to look at the gift in this situation. What is your lesson?  It might be listening to your intuition or becoming more present. It might be asking more questions before you commit or enter into an agreement.  It might be to notice red flags in relationships and take care of yourself. It might be to seek support before you do something that you are questioning. Whatever it is……acceptance of the gift will be a game changer.
5. EVOLVE – Now is the time to do things differently.  Make a conscious choice in support of your health on every level (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and even financial). Take the learning from the experience, honor your experience and then move into action to create your desires and more powerful experiences.

Here is the truth. Nothing is against you.  Learning is a part of the amazing human journey.  There will be ups and downs but how you respond is the only important thing. The more conscious you become the easier life will be.

I stand with you as you learn to deal with issues in your life with ease, grace and joy.

Many blessings, love and light,

Cynthia