There is a lot of talk about oneness and unity today. So why is it so difficult for us to actually live in that place? Why is it so difficult to actually live with a deep understanding that everything we do, say, and think affects the Whole? You are not alone. In fact, your energy, your essence, and your way of being have an impact on everything around you. Think about entering a room and you instantly feel an energy that makes you uncomfortable. Where does that energy come from? How about when you meet someone for the first time and your instinct is to withdraw? Take this one step further. You are challenged with a colleague or a client. Whenever you see or are about to meet this person, your body becomes tense and constricted. You try to calm yourself, pray or even create affirmations—to no avail. You resolve to not let him or her bother you, but most of the time that tactic does not work. Here is the thing. Energy transmits. The real questions become: “What kind of person do you want to be?” “How do you want to affect your family, community, or work environment?” You can choose right this very minute.
I am very grateful to have completed a course in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. One of the first skills we learned was called “Heart-Centered Listening.” This tool is defined as consciously entering the heart and listening from a deep place of compassion and caring. We learned that to listen from the heart demonstrates respect. It shows interest in the person in front of you, creates a safe space, and communicates an attitude of willingness to be present and open.
The first time I experienced heart-centered listening, all of my protective devices dropped. It reminded me that when someone listens to me in this way, it is easy to open up and share. It is easy to relax and let go. I believe that everyone wants to feel this way when they are with another person. We all want to experience someone being so committed to hearing us that joy fills every fiber of our being. Here are the gifts of heart centered listening:
- People feel safe with you and become vulnerable
- Trust becomes available
- Conversation becomes effortless and open
I invite you to begin to practice heart-centered listening. You can start with a family member or a friend. Or, if you feel brave, you can begin with colleagues at work. Wherever you choose to start, be aware that it takes practice. No one is masterful from the beginning. Do not be hard on yourself if it takes a while to become proficient.
