LOVE IS THE ANSWER
This month has a dual focus for me. It is Black History month, and it also brings to my mind, Valentine’s Day celebrations. As I was thinking about both areas the presence of love flooded my consciousness and awareness.
Clearly, I am an African American woman. It has not always been easy to stand up for myself, find my voice, and love every part of me. It is one of the reasons I wrote my new book that comes out in the fall. (I’ll share more in a couple of months).
When I was growing up, I wasn’t taught to love myself. I was told to love and respect my family. I was told to be kind and caring of others. I was told that loving others and making them happy was the priority. If that meant giving up myself or my power, so be it. That philosophy took me down some unconscious, destructive and self-sabotaging rabbit holes of pain.
Today, I look at life through the lens of love beginning with me and pouring out into the world. By that, I do not mean just keeping my head in the clouds and pretending that “love” is the magic pill that will solve all issues.
I am a spiritual person and so I do believe that the foundation of all spiritual life is love. Love of self, love of humanity, love of the planet, and love of all sentient beings. For me, that means staying awake and loving myself enough to be in integrity with my soul.
Valentine’s Day used to be a challenge for me. Whether I was in a relationship or not. I didn’t have a great track record and wasn’t sure how to navigate conscious relationships. I had limiting beliefs around love and trust in relationships. Before I met my husband, I decided I will be my own valentine. I will love me, support me, nurture me and care for me. So, I began rituals of “self-love.” It must have worked because Carl and I have been together for twenty-seven years.
This month, I want to share with you some tools for loving yourself and the world we live in.
We use the word love without really allowing ourselves to connect with its true meaning. Self-love and love of humanity are intertwined. They cannot exist in a void. We cannot love others if we do not love ourselves and we cannot truly love ourselves if we stand in separation.
Every day I am in awe of the challenges in our world. There seems to be no respite. Examples of lack of integrity, racism, sexism, ageism, and nationalism have people on the edge. Feelings of being scared, disconnected, worried, and even depressed are impacting relationships. Emotions hijack our divine nature, which I believe is love and compassion. In those moments, we find ourselves taking sides, judging others, and shutting down. When that occurs, separation is the outcome. People who say they love one another are at odds and can’t seem to find their way from illusionary thinking to heart centric connections.
WHAT LOVE IS:
- Standing in the place of self-acceptance and honor as you move in the direction of your dreams.
- Understanding that being human is a series of ups and downs and trusting the journey anyway.
- Embracing that we are all interconnected. We are all part of the human family.
- Walking away from situations and people that refuse to respect who you are and what you value.
- Having clear boundaries that are non-negotiable.
- Looking at obstacles as opportunities to grow.
- Inviting in Spirit/Universe/God to support clear decisions and actions.
- Bringing your authentic voice to every situation and relationship
- Honoring all people, cultures, races and religions.
WHAT LOVE IS NOT:
- Being unwilling to listen to other points of view.
- Allowing people to disrespect and cross your boundaries.
- Giving your power away.
- Hiding your light and gifts.
- Standing in judgement of others.
- Doing or saying things that are divisive.
- Pretending that everything is okay when it is not.
- Turning away from injustice hoping it will go away.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
True love begins with you. So….
When you feel afraid
Love yourself more
When you feel lost
Love yourself more
When you feel lonely
Love yourself more
When you feel unsure
Love yourself more
When you feel judged or unseen
Love yourself more
When people don’t understand you
Love yourself more
When you are nervous about leaping forward
Love yourself more
How To Experience Love?
As I was moving through my journey of personal evolution, this question haunted me. I wasn’t sure what love was or how to have it be a constant part of my life. There was no one in family to model it. So, I had to decide to learn how to be love, give love, and receive love. That choice was a game changer. These tools helped me become more loving and accept more love:
- Be a place where people feel important in your presence.
- Be a great listener. Curious about everyone and everything.
- Be aware of your language. Judgmental and accusatory statements shut down love.
- Be kind to even those you don’t know. You could be the biggest gift of their day.
- Be patient and pause, even when you feel triggered. You don’t want to regret your responses.
- Be enthusiastic about sharing your life and gifts. People love to hear about wins and powerful experiences.
- Be willing to speak your truth. Even when you feel afraid. Telling the truth creates trust.
- Be open to support those in need. It does not have to be anything big. Small actions open hearts.
Have a blessed love-filled month. Please know that you are an amazing being of light and love. In fact, the universe loved you so much it breathed life into you. You are an expression of the divine and here to fully experience life and love. If I can support you in remembering this truth, please reach out on my website. You can download my gifts or schedule a complimentary 15-minute discovery call.
Much love and light,
Cynthia
