YOUR PRESENCE IS THE “PRESENT”

I am aware some people are already anxious about the upcoming holiday season.  Some feel like they will let people down because money is tight and they are unable to travel or buy gifts.  Some are already overdoing things by buying too much and running up debt.  Others are concerned about hurting people’s feelings after receiving gifts from family and friends who have no clue about their taste and preferences.  The exciting thing about all of these conversations is there is often little said about the moments of tenderness, connection and vulnerability. The focus on the material has shifted people out of the heart.

Many years ago, I was at a Hollywood industry party in Los Angeles.  I spotted Barbara Mandrell across the room and felt my heart smile.  She looked radiant and at peace.  It had been at least two years since an accident almost killed her, and there were several reports that her focus in life had shifted after the incident. A friend of mine knew her and escorted me over for an introduction.  What came next was striking.  I was introduced; Barbara paused and looked me in the eyes.  Warmth radiated from her, and she said, “Oh, so nice to meet you.”  I knew she meant it because her full attention was on me in this moment.  It was a “real” connection.  Next, someone came in and was pulling her away from our exchange.  She paused again and said, “take care.”  I felt touched to be in her presence, and I was clear her being present with me was the gift of the event and the evening.

Ten years later, I had the honor of being at the synthesis dialogues in India hosted by the Dalai Lama.  I was intrigued by his ability to be present.  No matter what was happening in the room, he responded in the moment.  He listened, he laughed, and he contemplated and honored each person.  I quietly affirmed I wanted to be this kind of person.  I wanted my presence to be the “present.” A few days later, our group was invited to the palace/home of his Holiness. We each met him personally and receive a gift.  When he touched my hand and looked me in the eye, I felt totally blessed.  This picture sits on the bookshelf in my office to remind me to bring the gift of my presence to anyone I encounter.

Tips on Being Present

We, as a culture, are not taught to be present. We are schooled on being polite, courteous and caring.  All of these qualities are lovely, yet being present with someone is, in my opinion, the greatest gift you can offer.  Here are some tools to support you and bringing your whole essence to any experience.  Especially during the holiday season:

1. Be Where You Are – You can only be in one place at a time. Set an intention to be present in each moment.  Use these three words to anchor you. Listen, Connect, Respect
2. Slow Down – Do not try to rush through any moment. Pause. Breathe. Allow yourself to enter each space and each interaction thoroughly.
3. Tune In – Focus your eyes on the environment. Root yourself in the space by feeling your feet on the earth. Activate heart-centered listening.  Affirm, “I am here.”
4. Bless the Past – When entering “stressful” situations, give thanks. Stand in gratitude for all past experiences and the opportunities for growth you have experienced.  This will allow you to move into a relaxed state of being.
5. Trust The Process – Affirm every moment is orchestrated for your good and the good of all who are present.
6. Accept What Is – You cannot change anyone but yourself. Understand who stands before you and make a conscious decision (beyond appearances) to be kind anyway, be loving anyway, be respectful anyway, be honoring anyway.
7. See Beauty Everywhere – Exhale. Breathe.  Exhale again. Then look around.  Consciously witness the beauty around you.  There is beauty everywhere.  Look at the environment.  Look at the children play.  Look at the animals.  Look at the essence in the eyes standing before you.  The moment you recognize the beauty, send love through your heart in this direction.
8. Celebrate each moment – We are not guaranteed an unlimited time on this planet. We only have the present moment. Bring your best self and celebrate the gifts of each experience.  You never know when you are unforgettably touching someone’s life.

Quotes to support you being present through the holiday season.

I love affirmations and quotes.   I often carry them with me to support times, which require decisions or shifts in my perception.  Below are a few which might encourage you as you align with being present.  I invite you to put them in a few places you can reach easily.  You might even use them during meditations or spiritual practice.

“We get so wrapped up in numbers in our society. The most important thing is we can be one-to-one, you and I with each other at the moment. If we can be present to the moment with the person we happen to be with, that’s what’s important.”

― Fred Rogers

“Embracing each instant creates enthusiasm and joy towards your life. Each moment is new, exciting, and fresh when you accept instead of judge and deny. Your whole life is transformed into celebrated moments.”

― Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

“The greatest gift you can give (yourself or anyone else) is just being present.”

― Rasheed Ogunlaru

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. – Dale Carnegie

In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, do not try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present. – Lao Tzu

Being present is not something that happens once, and then you have achieved it; it is awake to the ebb, flow, movement, and creation of life, being alive to the process of life itself.  – Pema Chodron

Listening is being entirely present for whatever is before us with all of who we are.  – Mark Nepo

I wish you a joyous and fulfilling holiday season.  Know you are and have always been a gift.  It has never been important for anyone to get you, value you or honor you.  I say, love and celebrate you… Then, bring your glorious presence into every experience.  YOU ARE THE PRESENT…THE GIFT.