Today, I take a moment to honor the amazing Robin Williams. His brilliance, wit, humor and creativity have inspired me for many years. I spent many hours in front of my television and in movie theatres being blessed by his talent. As I reflected on his challenge and ultimate death, it took into a place of deep contemplation.
I believe we can all learn from Robin. Depression is something most of us have faced at various times in our lives. Depression does not honor wealth, status, culture, religion or race. It shows up and can deflate us in a short period of time.
Depression is insidious. It comes like a thief in the night. The dictionary definition states that depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest; a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way. We try to cope with it using drugs, prayer, meditation, exercise, sex and overwork. Ultimately, depression wins because we are not skilled in getting to root cause. I believe that cause is rooted in fear and the absence of self-love.
For me depression showed that it was present to remind me that something was not being expressed. I got headaches, isolated and sabotaged myself big time. It usually came when I was looking for success or love outside of myself. I had a sense that something was wanting to be birthed but I was too scared to listen to the still small voice within me that was offering support. Every time I refused to listen to my inner calling and guidance depression stepped in and immobilized me. Since I didn’t feel worthy of the “callings” I tried to fix myself in numerous ways. Depression would always win. One day, I was in bed with the curtains closed crying with no end in sight. I screamed, “God, if you are real you better show me something or I am going to leave this planet!” Just then, the phone rang. It was a woman I casually knew from the entertainment world. She said how are you? Usually, I would have lied but that day I said “I am horrible”. She was quiet for a moment and said “wasn’t your father an alcoholic?” “Yeah, so what?” I snapped. She was quiet again. “Perhaps there is some pain that could be supported. I am going to an Alanon meeting. May I pick you up and have you join me?” I don’t know why I said yes but I did. She said, “Great. Get up, open the curtains and get ready.” That moment and those words have been a part of my life since then. Through the gift of Alanon, spiritual expansion and education my life is different today. The challenges became easier and joyous expression is the norm.
Now, whenever I fall, feel depleted or become overwhelmed, I GET UP and go back to what I know. I expand my spiritual practice and workouts, I call in my God Squad to support me and I amplify self-care. I OPEN THE CURTAINS of my mind and ask for support to come in forms that are clear and tangible. Then, I GET READY for the miracles to occur.
I don’t know where you are in this moment, but if you are by chance feeling depressed please seek support. Call it in. Ask the universe to send you a guidance and assistance. You are not alone, no matter how it feels. Please remember that you are essential to life and the world needs you. I know it is not easy to overcome depression but be relentless in opening to support from unexpected places.
I end by thanking Robin Williams. I am sad that he left in this way. I will miss him. I know that his death is a reminder that we are all vulnerable human beings. He lives in my heart always.
