TRUST YOUR JOURNEY: Honor Your Process

I am in the middle of two projects. One is for my music, and one is for my writing. I have been working in both worlds for a long time and yet, I seem to encounter some of the same old patterns.  It’s not that I don’t know my gifts. I am very aware of how I have been blessed with many talents.  It’s not that I think that I won’t succeed.  I have a lifetime of evidence that I am supported.  It’s not that am afraid of being judged.  I am clear that what I create will serve the perfect people.

What comes up for me, in the most of subtle of ways, is the challenge of complete surrender to the process of creating.  It is so easy for little forms of doubt to creep in or my mind to want to analyze the outcomes. That is not how it works. Creativity is a non-linear process.  For true fulfillment to occur, there has to be an allowing of “miraculous messiness” to unfold.

I know this at the core of my being but sometimes I catch myself down a rabbit hole of scrutinizing the journey.  In the past, my mind would falter in emotional or mental quicksand, and I would be stuck there for some time. Today, I have learned to pause, get still, and ask for inner guidance. In that place self-confidence emerges, surrender opens the portals of receptivity, and my work becomes joy.

I am excited to share with you the process that I have created to trust my journey. 

Here are two examples of me climbing out of the abyss of my negative thought patterns.

I was about to go on stage to sing at a venue that I had sung at many times.  Just before going on, this wave of insecurity flooded in.  I felt scared and immobilized.  My body was quaking, and the thought was “what if I suck?”  This was irrational.  I knew my material and trusted the musicians. I also knew this community loved me.  I was clear that my thought would be a self-fulfilling prophecy if I did not do something to change it.  So, I began to breathe and allow the breath to connect to my body. I then asked, “God, please sing through my heart.”  A peace came over me, even though the nervous energy was still there.

I walked onto the stage and sang my songs.  My mind was still in self-doubt, but my body was relaxed and present.  I got a standing ovation and people came to my product table to tell me how profoundly touched they were by my music. Some even said, this is the best I have ever heard you sing.

In that moment, I realized that TRUST in my process and journey of awakening was taking hold.

The second story is about writing my first book, “What Will Set You Free.”  I was doing workshops and people were asking for handouts and workbooks.  I would create on demand. Then, the requests for a book started pouring in. That is when my mind went crazy.  “You’re not a writer, you have nothing new to say, you will fail, people will judge you and who do you think you are?”

I would sit in my room, try to meditate and try to write, but the negative self-talk would take over and hijack the experience.

I called a writer friend of mine and shared my process.  She laughed and shared that this was perfect.  I was amazed when she told me all writers have blocks, question themselves and want to quit at some point in the process.  Then, she said, “trust the journey and you will be in awe of how the universe works through you.”

She was absolutely right! That book has sold thousands of copies and is translated into Spanish. It is the foundation of my emotional integration work and is used to train coaches to do this work with clients.

SIX “DON’T” BEHAVIORS

Don’t Judge – The inner critic’s job is to stop you from moving forward.  It will continue to try to shut you down and convince you that you are not enough.  The judge is not your friend. It is a saboteur of your growth.

Don’t Resist – Resistance keeps you locked into old patterns and wounds. It feels like protection, but actually it is really a distraction.

Don’t Force – Pushing does not support you.  You cannot force creativity.  There is an ebb and flow that must be honored.  Sometimes, you just must pause and trust that “not now” is the answer to your questions.

Don’t Run – Quitting should be a last resort. You are a unique expression and what wants to come through you is original. Running from the experience because you are insecure only creates more doubt and constriction.

Don’t Hide – Withdrawing is a way to shut down energy.  There is a difference between holding things as sacred and being afraid that being visible will cause you pain.

Don’t Give Up – Just because you feel stuck doesn’t mean the journey is over.  Many great leaders, teachers and inventors will tell you they “failed” many times before the big breakthrough.  The gift was staying the course until the miracle occurred.

HERE IS THE TRUTH

 

1. Every journey has unexpected twists and turns.
2. No one obtains mastery on their first attempts.
3. The job of the mind is to question everything.
4. Insecurity can be a doorway for curiosity to emerge.
5. You wouldn’t be called to do something if there was not a delivery system.
6. Lack of clarity is a part of any creative process.
7. You can trust that the universe has your back.

As I move through my own process with my two projects, I return again and again to these truths.  I just keep letting go and surrendering to the knowing that I am guided, supported and I am a manifestation of the creative universe.  By the way, so are you. Trust your journey, own your gifts and honor your process.  You will be amazed at how the rewards of your tenacity become the gifts you deliver.

Much love,

Cynthia