You Don’t Need Permission To Be Successful

I recently heard someone repeat the phrase, “you came pre-approved.”  I have heard it many times but this time it really hit a cord within me. Many of my clients spend an inordinate amount of time wanting to be validated from the outside.  The interesting thing is that some of these people are hugely successful on paper but spend a lot of energy trying to prove that they have value. The sad thing is that without outside “permission or endorsement” they don’t feel successful.  It is not about money or stature.  It is about self-worth.

This kind of pattern starts when we are young.  We want our parents, siblings, teachers, and friends to see us and acknowledge our worth.  When that does not happen, we make up stories about what we can do to feel loved or appreciated.

That scenario haunted me for much of my life.  When you grow up in dysfunction, which many of us do, you quickly devise ways to get attention.  If something works, then you become masterful at using this technique throughout life. However, it is never enough because you can never “do” enough to be accepted, heard, or seen.  Therefore, trying to achieve success becomes a race you cannot win. 

This month, I want to address self-love on another level as it relates to success.  You came here equipped to be successful.  Your real work is to tap into that truth and release the need for outside approval. 

Self-Love Barriers

I spent a lot of money and time in workshops, therapy, coaching, and counseling trying to get to the core of my issue of working hard to be seen.  I would volunteer for things until exhaustion became the norm.  It took my overtaxed adrenals sitting me down to get clear that I was and have always been enough.  What a powerful lesson to realize that I have always been enough just because I exist.  Here are some barriers to self-love that might assist you personal process:

1. You were not born to be in a box – People, institutions and organizations will invite, encourage, and demand that you fit a certain mold.  The trap is that we try to fulfill the requests by proving that we belong.  It never really works.  It takes enormous energy to try to become what you are not.
2. Power and purpose do not exist outside of you – Purpose is the calling. It is an inner energetic that has always lived within you. The yearnings you are feeling are your purpose asking you to wake up and allow it to emerge.  Power is what you exude.  Tapping into it is the focus that creates success.
3. Perfection is an illusion – Nothing and no one is ever perfect. The definition of perfect is having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics as good as it is possible to be.  Your trying to be perfect creates frustration, angst, and energy drains.  The more you give the more you will be asked to give to prove your worth.  It really isn’t worth it.

Time To Be Unapologetically You

I cannot tell you how powerful it is to stop trying to be something for everyone. It was a game changer for me.  When I stopped needing outside validation I began to breathe freely and become more at peace. It is impossible to make everyone happy and will never please all the people all of the time.  You are the one that you need to please.  You are the one that will thrive when you dare to be your most brilliant self.  When you make that choice, the universe syncs up and miracles begin to occur.

Here are the tools I use and share with my clients as they embrace their person power and genius.

• Get clear on your intention – what do you really want? No one else can give it to you.  You are the captain of your inner ship.
• Choose you – every moment you get to choose light or dark, pain or power, fear, or fulfillment.  Yes, it can be scary but choose you anyway.
• Stop waiting for others to tell you that you are okay.  Passive waiting creates stagnation and apathy.
• Put your attention on what you want – Far to often we are looking at what we don’t want and what doesn’t work.  The energy of positive desires brings peace and harmony within you.
• Call in your spirit guides – You live in an energetic field of infinite possibilities.  AND the universe is rooting for you.  There are angels, guides, and light beings ready to serve you always.

You are here by a divine appointment, and no one can stop your full expression but you.  

Signs You Are Successful

1. You are open to new ways of being and possibilities.
2. You trust your life process.
3. You are not attached to anything.
4. You are clear that no one can steal your joy or success.
5. Your thoughts create vitality.
6. You treat yourself the way you want to be treated.
7. You have stopped chasing approval.
8. You do the best you can do in every situation.
9. You give up the need for perfection.
10. You set healthy boundaries that are non-negotiable.

The call here is to accept who you are, love yourself and your fragilities, and never give your power away to anyone else.  You have all that you need with you to succeed.  

I am so grateful to walk this journey with you.  If you need support reach out…..www.cynthiajames.net.  There are lots of tools, courses, and opportunities to work with me.

I sincerely hope this month is a time of inner reflection and honoring of you.  You deserve it.

Much love and light,

Cynthia