YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE

I just turned in the manuscript for my new book.  It contains a lot of my life story and lessons learned.  In my childhood, I experienced many things I didn’t understand.  I was too young to comprehend the spiritual immaturity and inappropriate behavior of adults. What I did, was try hard to figure out what was wrong with me.  I made up a story that as soon as I learned how to be “good enough” people would love and accept me.  That began a life journey of trying to discover how to prove that I mattered.

This is the time of year that many people gather with family members.  These holidays create many levels of experience. For some of us joy is ignited. We decorate, cook, and share gifts. For others, family get togethers are stressful. Somehow, younger parts of us rush into the experiences and relive old patterns of behavior.  Siblings take on the same old roles, parents treat their children as if they have not grown up and relatives act out in ways that can seem adolescent at best.

This is also the time when many examine this last year. People look at what they want to release, and open to a fresh start in the new year.  This is a wonderful tradition. However, if we do not learn to let go of untrue beliefs and behaviors, we are just taking the current self into the new year.

In this newsletter, I am going to invite you to consider releasing any beliefs that you must prove your worth, your brilliance or right to exist.  What if the next year could be the beginning of a time of courage, boldness, and creative expansion?

I used to make most of my decisions based on what others would think of me. I was so desperate for approval that I would become what others needed me to be.  It was exhausting.  Chameleons don’t shift because they need the world to accept them.  They change colors to regulate their temperatures or to signal their intentions to other chameleons. Chameleons will also use bold color changes to communicate.  Healthy individuals shift to honor their intentions and share their gifts.  Making others happy is not our job.  Becoming the best we can is why we are here.  Any behaviors that carry the frequency of “needing validations” pull our energy down and block the flow of good in our lives.

Why not take some time to reflect upon what no longer serves you and consciously release them to open the space for new possibilities.

WHAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO RELEASE:

1. Others know better than you, what you need.
2. You are here to honor others before yourself.
3. As soon as you “get it right” people will love and accept you.
4. You cannot trust yourself. Others know best.
5. You must work hard to be seen and heard.
6. You need to follow the rules.
7. Your voice and wisdom do not count.
8. You do not matter.
9. Don’t step outside of the box.

The letting go of these things takes courage. It is not easy to move out of the mindset of needing to be validated from the outside.  We have been enculturated to seek approval.  It takes practice to change the course of needing to prove ourselves.   Here are some tools to help build confidence and clarity moving forward.

1. You are needed on this planet – Why would the universe breathe its life into you and then want you to shut up, hide, or withdraw your gifts.  You are a manifestation of divine intelligence that is always creating and expanding. The very nature of the divine is beauty, harmony, love, light and abundance. Therefore, your essence is made of the same energies.  Why not celebrate you, your quirkiness, your way of being.  The world needs authentic people willing to shake things up and create more love.

2. You are not a mistake – Many people are blackmailed into doing what others need because of a huge lie. They are told, consciously or unconsciously, that they don’t belong, created chaos with their birth, or were never wanted.  You would not be here if you were not necessary.  The moment you realize that you are blessing and not an error, everything in your life will change.

3. You are not your history – No matter where you came from or what you have endured, you get to choose what happens next.  You are not obliged to live your life according to old experiences or what others think about your history.  Only you know what feeds your soul and ignites the passion within you.  You have no obligation to allow anyone or anything to decide your future.  Everything that has happened has led you to this moment of choice.

4. You are an original – There is no one with your eyes, fingerprints, or physical imprint.  You are unique.  With that in mind, you can take the original gifts you bring to light and shine.  No one can do what you came to do, the way you came to do it. So, there is never a need to compare.  Only you can fulfill your destiny.  Your shining hurts no one –revealing your inner beauty, grace and creative genius is why you are here.

5. Honor you – When is the last time you sat down and recounted the amazing things that have occurred in your life.  It could be bringing excellence to a job (whether you stayed or not); sharing your love with someone (whether they could receive it or not); caring for a family member that needed support, bought your first home, became a mother or a father, or created a business that supported others.  Whatever it is, take some time and really jot down how many wonderful things have occurred in your life.  If something can happen once, it can happen again. The universe is full of potentiality. It is waiting for you to tap in.

6. Cast a Vision – You are a creative force in the universe. You are a creative being. You have within you a plethora of ideas because possibility lives as you.  So, dream big.  Dare to allow your imagination to birth new ways of being and expressing.  Every great idea was birthed inside of someone that was willing to open.  You do not have to know how to manifest the vision.  Write down your ideas, create a vision board, or share your dreams with someone that loves who you are and wants you to succeed.

7. Take Action – Every manifestation needs action.  Without a plan and motion, the vision is nothing but an unfulfilled dream.  Start small. One step at a time is all that is required.  I often write down three action steps for a new project.  Once they are completed, I add three more.  Over time that process became books, CD’s, workshops, meditations, and classes.  Once you are clear about the vision and the action steps, call in an accountability partner to help you stay focused.

As this year completes, know that I stand with you.  I am so clear that you are amazing, and your destiny is assured.  You never have and never will have to prove your worth to anyone.  It’s time to activate your courage, surrender the old and call in the new.  Then, stand in an expectancy of good and watch the new year bring forth miracles galore.

Happy Holidays,

Cynthia